The party is only an hour away and he’s nervous. He spent three days shopping for the perfect shirt, eventually ending his search earlier this morning.

“It fits like a glove,” he exclaims, as he adjusts the collar and checks himself out for the fourth time in the mirror.

Exactly one week ago, Josh had his first date with Mark. (All of the people mentioned in this story are identified by pseudonyms.) The two met through Internet dating service Match.com, exchanged a few e-mails and eventually met for drinks. After their date, Mark invited Josh to a cocktail party he was throwing at his swanky 10th floor apartment downtown. “Be certain to make a note when you respond as to whether you will be willing to be a cocktail server or dancer, and we will have an appropriate Speedo for you to wear,” the e-vite read.

About two months ago, Josh, 25, came out as a gay man. Although he cannot pinpoint an exact reason as to why he came out when he did, Josh says that he finally realized there was more to life than just work. “I can finally pursue a social life, a personal life. I’m honest with myself and I don’t have to suppress anything.”

In college, Josh dated women and tried to “create crushes.” As he explained, “it gave people a reason to think I wasn’t (gay), because I liked so-and-so.” Josh says he didn’t come out in college because he was scared. “But this is scary now too,” he says. “Because it’s the real world, not a bubble world.”

Josh says that once he came out, he was unsure of what to do next. He joined Match.com for a brief period in order to meet people and test the waters of the Seattle gay community. But now that he has met a few people through the Internet service and word has circulated among his friends that he is gay, Josh is beginning to meet people the old fashioned way, through friends of friends of friends.

According to a recent Seattle Times article, gays are increasingly likely to come out when they are teenagers. In many cases, the teens find support among teachers and fellow students who have grown up with portrayals of gays on TV and are familiar with public debates about gay rights.

Josh says that his peers have supported him and that coming out has strengthened his friendships. “It’s clear that my secret was damaging my relationships,” he says. “It was the big elephant, the 500-pound gorilla in the room. Everyone tiptoed around the subject and it’s nice to no longer have to do that.

“Coming out was as much for me as for the people I care about. You can’t be a good friend if you aren’t honest with yourself.”

It’s almost 9 p.m. when Josh heads out the door, this writer in tow. The party started at eight o’clock, but Josh wanted to be sure to arrive fashionably late. Robby, Mark’s roommate and co-host of the party, greets us at the door and immediately replaces our coats with drinks.

Tasteful pictures, plants and wine racks adorn the apartment walls. Dimmed lights and scented candles provide for the perfect sultry mood. The room is crowded with about 30 guests, most of them men, and all of them expressing their personal styles in different ways. One man wears a T-shirt with the legend, “I’ll love you when you’re more like me.” Another wears a T-shirt saying, “I’m not lucky, I’m good.” Two guests wear T-shirts with identical legends. One of the guests resolves the dilemma by pulling off his shirt and going shirtless the rest of the evening.

The music suddenly grows louder. Madonna’s new song, “Hung up,” blares through the apartment, causing a dance party to break out in the living room and kitchen. But Josh doesn’t seem to notice. He is deep in a conversation with a new acquaintance, Allan.

“So who do you know here?” Josh asks.

“I’m here with my boyfriend Brad, who used to date Robby (the co-host of the party),” Allan says, gesturing to his boyfriend across the room.

“Ooohhhh . . . are you guys gonna fight?” Josh asks.

“No. We’re gonna make out,” Allan says with a smile.

Brad makes his way through the crowded room and joins the conversation. He pulls Josh aside and whispers something in his ear. Almost immediately tears well up in Josh’s eyes.

“I’m gonna cry. I’m really gonna cry,” Josh says, covering his mouth. “You are so sweet,” Josh then says, resting his arm on Brad’s shoulder. “He just told me I was handsome.”

Josh has been thrilled by the extent to which the local gay community has accepted him. He compares his introduction to the gay community to taking up his new hobby, rock climbing.

“The rock climbing community is by nature an accepting and patient one,” he says, “simply because no matter how experienced a climber you are, how many walls or cliffs you've scaled and (how many) years you've been at it, every single rock climber can remember their first time as a beginner. Just like everyone can remember when they first came out.”

Of rock climbing, he says, “We all learn the same way to tie the knots and clip into the harness. Ultimately, the foundation of rock climbing isn't just about the climb; it's how we each learn to trust in someone else and support the other on every climb.”

The gay community in Seattle staged its first public gathering in June 1974, when the community celebrated Gay Pride Week atop Capitol Hill, according to the Web site “HistoryLink.” The local gay community first took shape back in the 1920s and ‘30s when gays began congregating in bars, clubs and cabarets in Pioneer Square. By the late ‘70s and early ’80s, Capitol Hill emerged as the hub of the gay community and the area is now listed in the AOL City Guide as one of the country’s “top 11 gay destinations.”

While coming out has brought about many positive changes in Josh’s life, it has also brought some struggles. Josh is still hesitant about telling his family that he is gay. Their strict culture and religious beliefs make him wary of just how accepting they will be. His Catholic religion also plays a big part in Josh’s life. “I don’t think of my church as the Pope,” he says. “I think of it as the people who support me. . . . There is no way (God) can create me only to send me to hell.”

Josh gossips about the party all the way home. He rehashes his conversation with Brad as if it were difficult for him to grasp the idea that someone thought he was handsome. “I wasn’t really sure what my stock was . . . if I was worth anything,” he says. “And for him to tell me that. I mean, he has a boyfriend. It’s not like he even needed to say that. . . . That means a lot, a lot, a lot to me.”